The other night my hubby surprised me with a walk around the complex and a trip to our gym. He actually had to pick up and place me on the elliptical machine. That's how far removed I am from the gym right now. And it couldn't come at a worse time because I'm in the middle of two fitness challenges. I am back up to 220 and I feel awful.
If I wrote a book on how to gain weight, I'd make enough money to pay off my student loans and yours. I'm always "shocked" at how quickly I can pack on the pounds when it is extremely difficult to burn them off. Although it is the most rewarding journey I have been on, I find it to be physically and emotionally draining. I have come to realize that if you don't quit, you will be on this roller coaster ride forever. That means that if I continue to make progress, then digress, I will never get off this ride! At some point you are going to want to puke. Just get sick of it. If you quit, then you are left to enjoy life as an overeater and happily pack on the pounds. It is a choice that you make to stay on the ride and fight, or get off and say "It is what it is". 
I've been fighting to lose these same 10 pounds for over a year. Just getting past this point could get me into my groove again, but as soon as I make progress on the scale, I slide back into my old habits. My husband mentioned to me the other day when I said I wanted to get on another weight loss plan that I am always saying that, but I never stick to it. I told him that the time to be worried is when I stop saying it. To give up and hit the junk food is not a good look. So if preparing for another cleanse or one more diet is the alternative to giving up, I'll take that path.
I truly believe the scale is the devil. Not really, but it plays a big part in my highs and lows. I can't avoid the scale because I'm in another Biggest Loser contest. And besides, I really think it helps people stay on point, IF it works. The problem with me is I am an emotional eater. If I lose big, I celebrate with food. If I gain, I commiserate with food. I think I would benefit from finding different ways to measure success. I know I have a waistline goal of 32 1/2 inches, the healthy waistline for women according to Dr. Oz. My current waistline is out of control so that seems like an appropriate avenue for me.
Last year I lost 40 lbs, so I know I have it in me to fight, but if I don't get control of my emotions I will keep going in circles! I am going to fix the problems in my head along with the problems on my plate this time and see where it leads me. My next goal is Onederland. To be 199 again by New Years. That would put me in a good head space for 2014. We shall see.
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| This way to Onderland! |
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